We Need To Talk About Kate (Yes, Again)….

I'm Exhausted By All Of This

Welcome back to your weekly dose of opinions from yours truly! I have some things that I have to get off my chest so buckle up…

We’re not even two full months into the year and the same vicious, misogynistic, BS surrounding the Princess of Wales is surfacing again. I wrote several newsletters last year about Catherine being a target of the most vile, cruel rumours and harassment whilst she was recovering from abdominal surgery and following her cancer diagnosis. I cannot believe that a year later that this is still an issue. But here we are.

So what’s been bothering me lately? I’m so glad that you (didn’t) ask…

• Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat - The Princess of Wales had cancer. Cancer was found in her body. She was diagnosed with cancer. She was treated for cancer. Not pre cancer, not imaginary cancer, not something like cancer, not because they thought she might have cancer - she was treated for CANCER. She is in remission from CANCER. Anyone who speculates otherwise or allows others to speculate without correction is vile. It truly is that simple. This is not one of those “everyone is entitled to their opinion” type situations. No, you’re not. Someone’s life-threatening health condition is not fodder for internet rumours and lies. There has been no confusion in the way it has been discussed by Kensington Palace or by Catherine herself - so spare me that pathetic excuse. The only confusion is created when people choose to manufacture it for their own vicious and cruel ends or to generate engagement boosting controversy. Anyone who even remotely engages in any conversation like this needs to have a long hard look at themselves. As for the people who spread the rumours that Kate faked cancer for attention or to get out of working? They are simply disgusting excuses for human beings.

• Here’s some breaking news - women age visibly. Shocking, I know. Catherine (and pretty much all women) being attacked or mocked for looking ‘old’ is, sadly, nothing new. But after an online storm erupted last year after her appearance on Remembrance Sunday it felt much more cruel to me. A “journalist” (clearly suffering from a major case of attention deprivation) decided to post on Twitter questioning the fact that Catherine apparently looked older and pondered why this might be the case - “Is she a smoker?”. It takes a real winner to mock/ridicule a person with cancer’s appearance. This issue reared its ugly head again with the recent release of pictures of Kate shopping in London. Here’s the thing - women in their forties have lines. That’s called reality. If a woman chooses to conceal or remove those lines through cosmetic options, that is entirely her choice. As is choosing to age naturally. Nobody should be judged on their physical appearance. The ridiculous, unrelenting, unrealistic pressure on women to not visibly age is ludicrous. To mock any woman for her age related appearance is unacceptable. To do it to a cancer patient/survivor who is probably just incredibly thankful to still be alive to have lines on her face? Disgraceful. It’s also worth noting that she also gets criticism when she has no visible lines “oh Kate’s been at the Botox again”.

  She simply cannot win. And why should she have to? Why should any of us have to?

• In what feels like an extremely bad case of Groundhog Day, the issue of information about Catherine’s clothes being supplied to the media by her staff has reared it’s ugly head again. I swear that we had this same conversation a couple of years ago. There has been some confusion and clarification around the issue but that honestly feels irrelevant to me. What is galling to me is the reaction from some corners of the royal internet. The sheer fury and indignation and sense of entitlement with which this turn of events was greeted was mind boggling to me. Kate is not a commodity. She is not a dress up doll. She does not exist to give fashion blogs and accounts content and affiliate links. She literally owes nobody anything in this regard. Because you can dress it up however you like, you can find as many false arguments as you like, this is what it boils down to - Kate’s clothes equal clicks, contents and cash.

The arguments for this that I find the most frustrating are the “Kate has an obligation” “Kate should” etc. justifications. Kate actually has no obligation (and nor should she be made to feel any) to do anything she doesn’t want to. It is a wonderful benefit of her high profile and popularity that the clothes she wears provide a lot of attention and traffic to British designers. It’s a wonderful thing that interest in her clothing generates fun and content for online content creators. But all of that is just a lovely bonus - it’s not Kate’s responsibility to keep that content coming. If you make that your online focus, good for you (I truly mean that, I love royal fashion too and I know how much work goes into those accounts and creating fashion content.) But here’s the thing - it’s not Kate’s responsibility if this decision harms that for you.

I also find the argument that Kate should wear new outfits to bring attention to her engagements particularly thin. Because if you’re only interested in the clothes then you’re not really interested anyway. Instead of telling Kate that she has to wear new clothes every time to generate interest in her work, how about we encourage journalists, creators, people in general, to do better at focusing on the work as well as on her clothes. Also, not for nothing, but I know for a fact that if she did wear new clothes all the time, she would be hauled over the coals for that. We all remember the “not another blue coat dress” fiasco.

It’s also blatantly sexist and misogynistic -no one’s demanding the details of Charles or William’s outfits, are they? The ultimate point here is that all of this is up to Kate, and she owes nobody anything in this (or any other regard). She’s not minimizing the importance of fashion; she’s not saying that people that focus on fashion are bad - she is simply making a choice that is right for herself - as is her right. I would also think that a community that has gained so much from Kate would be a little kinder and give her a little more grace after everything that she has been through.

• Bear with me, this final point is a little heavier. Holocaust Memorial Day is a day of great importance, solemnity and, above all else, a day to remember the millions of victims of the Holocaust. This year however, the Princess of Wales’ attendance at a memorial service in London was used as something else entirely - yet another excuse to attack her pointlessly. The issue (solely manufactured by online royal accounts to create outrage aimed at Catherine) was Catherine’s choice of a Chanel bag (Coco Chanel had known links to the Nazis) for a Holocaust Memorial event. Of course, care should be taken with choice of clothing at such an event. However, the choice by some to attempt to paint Catherine as an insensitive, thoughtless person who was blind to the feelings and sensitivities of Holocaust survivors is performative and disingenuous at best. At worst it is a vicious and pathetic attempt to use one of the most horrific tragedies in history to score some

  petty point against the Princess of Wales.

  Catherine has a long history of involvement with and support of Holocaust survivors. She and William visited Stutthof concentration camp in Poland as part of their visit to the country in 2017. Since, Catherine has met and worked with Holocaust survivors on multiple occasions, including photographing survivors and their families in 2020, meeting with survivors during a visit to Lake Windermere and at an exhibition at the Imperial War Museum and taking part in video calls during covid lockdown. She has also attended multiple Holocaust Memorial Day services. She is greeted with immense warmth and friendliness each time, including at this year’s memorial service. All of which would suggest that the people whose opinion on this issue really matters, actual Holocaust survivors, have no problem with Catherine or her choice of handbag - so nobody else has a right to.

  What makes all of this trivial, performative outrage so much worse for me is the current situation in the world. Antisemitism is a very real, current and increasing threat. The brutal and systematic murder of six million Jews during the Holocaust should only serve as a powerful reminder of the dangers of antisemitism - not as an excuse to score points in some ridiculous royal feud. To trivialize it in such a way whilst wrapping it up in faux concern for the feelings of survivors is truly disgusting. If your only contribution to remembrance or to supporting the victims of antisemitism is to attack a woman (who has done far more to support the Jewish community than any of her critics ever likely will) for her choice of handbag then perhaps you need to sit the fuck down.

The thought that occurs to me most in all of this is, why is Kate such an acceptable target for so many people? Why do so many people feel so empowered to abuse her in the cruelest of ways and at a time when even more consideration than usual should be given to her? Is it because people know that she can’t or won’t fight back publicly? Her mistreatment seems to be acceptable to a lot more people than it should be - including those who rail violently against similar treatment of other royal women. For some reason, the anger surrounding misogyny, hate and online bullying don’t seem to apply to Catherine. Any public figure should be open to criticism and Catherine is no exception. However, none of this valid or justifiable criticism - this is pure vileness for the sake of internet clicks and engagement. Any content about Catherine is guaranteed to generate interest - for some people the more negative the better.

It seems that for a lot of people Catherine has ceased to be an actual person - with feelings, fears, insecurities and anxieties. She’s become something akin to a dress up doll or a source of content - only valuable for what she wears and the clicks she gets. For those who don’t like her its justified with the excuse of her being a princess living a privileged life and is therefore deserving of whatever is thrown at her - her feelings don’t matter because of her circumstances in life. It has never been and never will be ok. But for it to continue, and in fact escalate, after everything that she has been through is a level of awfulness that is beyond comprehension.

There is a myth that has grown over the past few years (I’ll let you decide for yourselves why that might be) that Catherine is and has always been protected by both the palace and by the British press. The reality could not be further from the truth. From before she was even engaged to William, Kate has been subjected to media harassment - from physical harassment by paparazzi photographers to cruel and misleading headlines and stories. She has been criticised for everything from her fashion choices to her parenting to her “normal” upbringing. It continues to this day with certain members of the press contributing to the pile on during the worst of last year and, more recently, creating misleading click bait headlines aimed to manufacture outrage against her.

Catherine is the exact opposite of protected - she’s everyone favourite target (even her alleged fans some days). Full advantage is taken of her inability and/or unwillingness to fight back or to correct the nonsense stories. And in the past year, undoubtedly the worst of her life, it has been worse than ever. Fighting a life-threatening health battle was not even enough to stop the hate. What will be enough? To continue to bully a woman even as she literally fought for her life is one of the most disgusting things I have seen.

Catherine has immense strength, grace and ability to rise above it all. But she shouldn’t have to - nobody should. I wish her nothing but continued good health and happiness because, in the end, that is truly all that matters. I also wish (hope)that a lot of people do a lot of reflecting and do better.

Thanks for reading - its great to be back!

= Jane.